Communication: Plan for all health appointments
In order to get the best possible care, good communication skills become essential.
It's harder than ever to see our primary care practitioners in a timely manner and seeing a specialist can take months and, for some specialists, up to a year. It is essential to go into appointments prepared.
Being proactive and assertive can make the difference between rapid care and undue pain and suffering... and even death.
Plan ahead and write down what you need to talk to your healthcare team and physicians about.
If you don’t know what is most important, give your practitioner your list and have them ‘triage’ your concerns.
Take a notebook and write notes during the appointment – or immediately following. Write down and prioritize what you need to talk about.
For any appointment where you are getting complicated instructions or information (an information dense appointment – such as the Cancer Agency), take someone along with you to take notes and help you ask questions you’ve forgotten.
Use a calendar to plan appointment dates… even if the follow-up is 2 or 5 years from now.
Some ideas to get through an appointment logically
You’ve likely waited many months to see the specialist and you’re going because you are sick or in pain and you might have run out of patience. Forgetting what you need to say or losing your cool will only further slow your care or even bring it to a halt.
If you are frustrated or angry about delays or not getting the answers you need, here are some suggestions on how to get better care:
Honey works so much better than vinegar. Be kind, leave your anger and frustration at the door, and show your doctor and nurses that you know they are busy and you appreciate their time.
Write down what you need to accomplish in the appointment. If you are too upset to talk, hand the written list over to your doctor to read.
Bring someone with you who can be calm, cool and collected and have them take notes, and remind you of things you wanted to ask.
Be clinical about your feelings when you are describing them to your doctors. “I am very nervous about this; this scares me; I am worried,” and say those things as if you are outside your feeling self.
See if you can visualize a “logic switch” and turn it on just long enough to get through the appointment.
Perform positive self-talk immediately before the appointment: “I am calm and I am listening.”
Be “in the moment”: listen and don’t move onto your next thought or retort before the doctor is finished.
Be aware of your body language: sit up straight, arms softly at your sides, and look your doctor in the eyes.
Avoid, ‘but’. “That’s great BUT I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.” It can mean you are not in full listening mode, and it can shut down the conversation.
Avoid applying an emotional context to the appointment: “He didn’t like me; She is so arrogant; He’d already made up his mind; She wasn’t taking me seriously.” Doctors are often in a rush, in a hurry, logical, and are trained not to show excessive concern and how they react to you often has nothing to do with you.
All of this takes practice. But better communication means better care.
Please consider reading The Power of The Notebook.
